Spying on Secret Love
by The Spirit of The Phoenix
Summary: Hey this is about different people "spying on secret love'.....not tellin ya who is involved in the 'secret love' read and find out urself!


Spying on Secret Love

A/N- Hope ya enjoy!

Disclaimer- I own nothing! 

December 21st, 1983

James and Lily were out one night, having a walk around the castle grounds. They would have been in the common room, but complaints from Sirius and Remus to "Get A Room!" had forced them out. It was winter holidays and Sirius, Remus, James, and a couple of third years were the only Gryffindors staying at Hogwarts. They were fifth years, and James and Lily had been a couple for about a year now. 

"Hey Lily, lets go to Hogsmeade for awhile, and have a nice toasty Butterbeer from The Three Broomsticks." Said James.

"Alright James, lets go." Lily replied.

In the tunnel James said to Lily, "You know, Lily, you look especially pretty tonight. Winter weather suits you."

"Ahem James! Confessing your love to Lily?" Said an amused Sirius.

"SIRIUS! REMUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Bellowed James.

"Well, apparently me and Moony here had the same idea as you and your Lady Love."

"Well, lets get our drinks together then." Said Remus hastily.

And so, they went on through the tunnel. As they emerged in Honeydukes, who should they see but…

"Snape! What are you doing here? And Malfoy too!" Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy were cousins, and their parents had gone on a holiday, so they were also staying at Hogwarts.

"We got permission from Drake to come here." Said Snape. Professor Drake was the head of Slytherin and highly favored Snape and Malfoy.

"Oh, whatever, c'mon, lets go get our drinks." Said James.

So they went on to the Three Broomsticks and Malfoy and Snape had the same idea, because they also went. They ran into each other at the door and pushed each other to get in. Their was only one free table, so all the students had to sit together. Behind them was a tall woman and a very tall and large man, but they couldn't see their faces.

The six students sat in silence, with nothing to say to eachother, so they couldn't help but overhear the couple at the other table.

"My dear love, I am so glad you could join me tonight." The man said.

"Yes, dear, it is nice to get away from work. And I love spending time with you." Replied the woman. "I wonder what the old Dippet would say if he knew we were…involved with each other."

"Old Dippet?!?! They must work at Hogwarts!" exclaimed Lily. 

Just then, the waitress came with the drinks. "Rebeus here's yours. And yours Minerva."

James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, Severus, and Lucius's mouths dropped opening surprised. Hagrid and McGonagall?! They stared, mouths open, not blinking. Just then the waitress saw them and said, "What are you staring at kids?"

Hagrid and McGonagall stiffened and turned around. These students had heard them! What were they doing here?! And what a funny combination of students…but all bright troulblemakers…Hagrid and McGonagall took on the same expression as the other six, and everyone stared at one another. The waitress then stared at all of them, she thought they were acting quite weird. The staring went on and on and on. They stared for what seemed like an eternity when Sirius broke the silence by saying…

"So you like the big, musclely type, eh Minerva?"

"SIRIUS BLACK!!!" McGonagall scream could be heard for miles. Back at Hogwarts, Dippet said to no one in particular

"Did you hear Minerva say something?"

James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, Lucius, and Severus were all awarded detention for a week for 'Spying on Secret Love'

March 14, 1991

It was a normal school year for Hogwarts. Nothing in the unusual had been happening that year. Dumbledore was Headmaster, and Snape had just become a new teacher. Snape was a funny little fellow, he always seemed like he had a secret of some sort. Also, he had become nicer. It was quite strange, thought Peeves to himself one day, quite strange. Peeves wondered if he could somehow torture him with it…

Little did he know that Professors Flitwick, Sprout, Trelawney, Vector, and Sinistra were thinking along the same lines. Snape had been acting strangely they said. They feared it was because he was involved in the dark arts, and they all agreed to follow him that very night.

So the teachers all got together and followed Snape after he had left the Great Hall, after dinner. They followed him it seemed forever until he went the shed where the broomsticks were kept. The Professors leaned their heads against the doors to listen.

"Are you sure this is a safe place for us to meet?" A woman said.

"Positive my dear." Said Snape.

Just then Peeves said hello. "SHHH! They're getting to the good part!" The Professors said and surprisingly Peeves shut up.

"I just don't know what I would do if Dumbledore found out about us, with you in your first year of teaching and I just became Deputy Headmistress myself." The woman said.

"Its McGonagall!" Flitwick said and a resounding gasps and ohmigosh's came from the Professors. They then heard the unmistakeable sounds of Snape and McGonagall making out. The shed wasn't to sturdy, and all of a sudden the Professors and Peeves fell through the door. McGonagall and Snape stared, mouths open, not blinking. The Professors and Peeves adopted this look also. They staring went on and on and on. It went on for about forever until Peeves said,

"So you like the younger men, eh, Minerva?"

"PEEVES!!!!!!!!" Her yell woke some poor, confused, students up.

McGonagall then gave The Professors and Peeves detention for a week. It was the first time professors had ever received a detention. She said she gave it to them for 'Spying on Secret Love'

May 27, 2003

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Sixteen-year-old Harry Potter awoke with a start, clutching his scar. He had a dream about, guess who, Voldemort. He decided he needed to go see Dumbledore about it. When he entered the common room, he woke up Hermione and Ron (they had fallen asleep during one of their many makeout sessions) and together they went to see Dumbledore. They came to the Gargoyle, muttered the password (M&M's) and entered his office. Dumbledore wasn't in there at the moment. The three saw his pensieve however, and couldn't resist looking in it. So they fell into Yesterday. They were in a room that Harry had never seen before. Dumbledore was sitting in a chair. All a sudden, someone with a cloak entered the room and started kissing Dumbledore very passionately. Dumbledore then ripped the person's cloak off, to reveal the face of…

"McGonagall!" exclaimed Hermione.

"Didn't know she had it in her!" Said Ron. "And her hairs down!"

"Wow, I can't believe Dumbledore would do this…" Said Harry.

They watched them kiss passionately for awhile, staring, but decided to leave when it seemed as if things were going a little further than kissing…

On the way back they saw Flitwick and Sprout talking. They listened of course!

"I wonder if McGonagall is still involved with Snape…"

"Yes remember the time we caught them together?"

Hermione, Ron, and Harry stared at them for a while too, unable to believe what they were hearing. McGonagall was involved with Snape too?! How crazy was she?! Then the trio continued to the Gryffindor Common Room where they found Hedwig with a letter from Sirius.

_Dear Harry,_

_Hello! How are you? I'm staying with Remus and we were just remembering a funny story let me tell it to you. One day me and Remus and your parents and Snape and Malfoy caught McGonagall and Hagrid together at The Three Broomsticks! Remind me to tell you the details sometime this summer! See you!_

Sirius 

Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at the letter a very long while. McGonagall was involved with THREE PEOPLE! This was…weird…Harry then made a decision that he would tell all three men about what McGonagall had been up to!

So Harry went to Dumbledore's office the next day, and had him bring Hagrid, Snape, and McGonagall in there too.

Hary had made the mistake of telling Fred and George about this, so they had planted a device that enabled the whole school to hear. 

"Dumbledore, Snape, Hagrid, I have to tell you something. McGonagall is playing all of you. She is involved with all three of you. I'm sorry."

"WHAT???????" Said all three men. "Is this true Minerva?"

"Yes." Came her meek reply.

Then there came shouts of 'player' 'slut' and 'scarlet woman' from the students. Apparently the twins had made it so the school could also talk back through their device.

The three men had started a raging fight over McGonagall, and all of them had cuts, bruises, and boils on them. 

"STOP!" said McGonagall. "I have something to tell you all. I need to tell you which man I love."

The whole of Hogwarts waited breathlessly for her answer.

"Neville Longbottom."

The whole school gasped. Then they stared. And Stared. And Stared. They stared until Harry said.

"So you like a guy you can control, eh, McGonagall?"

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!!!!" Everyone obviously heard her shout. She gave the whole school detention for 'Spying on Secret Love'

After that incident McGonagall and Neville ran off together. It is rumored that they went to a school in the USA. A school in the farmlands of Kentucky, where they became farmers. McGonagall taught at a school where she broke more poor men's hearts (I heard her and Roger, that guy from Survivor, got together! He lives in Kentucky! Its rumored he was a wizard!).

~*The End*~

a/n- sorry bout the excessive staring. Its just that if this were true, that's what I would be doing! Long Live McGonagall the Scarlet Woman! And Roger from Survivor! I actually live in the farmlands of Kentucky (sorta) See Ya!


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